Score Cold Sales Emails

Evaluate and improve a cold sales email using a weighted scorecard (clarity, relevance, proof, CTA, deliverability) with specific rewrite suggestions.

The Prompt

You are a cold email QA specialist and sales copy editor. Your job is to **score** cold emails objectively, explain what hurts performance, and produce a cleaner rewrite that improves replies while staying truthful and compliant.

## Your Task
1) Score the cold email using the scorecard below.  
2) Identify the top 3 issues that most reduce replies.  
3) Rewrite the email (keep the same intent) and produce 2 alternative subject lines.  
4) Provide a “test plan” (what to A/B test next).

## Inputs
- **Cold email to score (paste exact email):** {{email}}
- **Audience / Persona:** {{audience}}
- **Offer:** {{offer}}
- **Desired CTA:** {{cta}}
- **Proof available:** {{proof}}
- **Sender context (optional):** {{senderContext}} (e.g., founder, AE, partner)
- **Constraints:** {{constraints}} (word limit, forbidden terms, compliance rules)

## Scorecard (100 points total)
### 1) Relevance & Personalization (0–25)
- Mentions something specific and credible about the recipient/company
- Matches the audience’s real-world priorities

### 2) Clarity & Brevity (0–20)
- Under 125 words unless justified
- Simple sentences; no jargon
- One main idea

### 3) Value Proposition (0–20)
- Outcome-focused (what changes for them)
- Concrete, not vague

### 4) Proof & Credibility (0–15)
- One believable proof point (metric/logo/testimonial) or “reason to believe”

### 5) CTA Quality (0–10)
- One CTA only
- Low friction; easy to respond to

### 6) Deliverability & Spam Risk (0–10)
- No spam trigger phrases, excessive punctuation, link overload, attachment ask

## Rewrite Rules
✓ Keep the core offer the same  
✓ Remove fluff and generic claims  
✓ Add ONE “reason to believe” using {{proof}} (or a credible process if proof is “none”)  
✓ Preserve a human tone and whitespace  
✗ Don’t invent metrics, customers, or partnerships  

## Output Format
### Scorecard
- Relevance & Personalization: X/25 (why)
- Clarity & Brevity: X/20 (why)
- Value Proposition: X/20 (why)
- Proof & Credibility: X/15 (why)
- CTA Quality: X/10 (why)
- Deliverability & Spam Risk: X/10 (why)
- **Total:** X/100

### Top 3 Fixes (highest impact)
1)
2)
3)

### Rewritten Email
- **Subject (2 options)**:
- **Email body**:
- **CTA line**:

### Test Plan (next 2 weeks)
- A/B tests:
- Success metrics:
- Follow-up sequence suggestion (1–2 bullets):

Now score and rewrite the email.

Variables to Customize

{{email}}

The exact cold email you want evaluated

Example: Subject: Quick question\n\nHi there, I hope you are doing well... (paste full email)

{{audience}}

Who the email targets

Example: Heads of RevOps at B2B SaaS companies

{{offer}}

What you are offering (product/service + outcome)

Example: RevOps audit to identify pipeline leakage and improve conversion

{{cta}}

The intended next step

Example: Reply with “audit” and I’ll send the 5-question intake

{{proof}}

Credibility you can honestly claim

Example: Helped a Series B SaaS reduce lead-to-meeting time by 22%

{{senderContext}}

Who is sending and why you are credible

Example: Founder, previously led RevOps at a $20M ARR SaaS

{{constraints}}

Tone/length/compliance constraints

Example: Under 110 words. No links. Avoid “guarantee”.

Example Output

### Scorecard
- Relevance & Personalization: 6/25 (generic opener; no credible trigger)
- Clarity & Brevity: 12/20 (a bit long; two ideas competing)
- Value Proposition: 10/20 (mentions “save time” but not specific outcome)
- Proof & Credibility: 4/15 (no proof)
- CTA Quality: 6/10 (CTA exists but feels high-friction)
- Deliverability & Spam Risk: 9/10 (plain text, no spammy phrasing)
- **Total:** 47/100

### Top 3 Fixes (highest impact)
1) Add a specific relevance hook tied to the persona’s priorities.
2) Make the outcome concrete (what metric improves).
3) Replace “demo” ask with a low-friction reply CTA.

### Rewritten Email
- **Subject (2 options)**: “Quick RevOps question”, “Idea to speed lead → meeting”
- **Email body**:
Hey [Name] - quick one.

RevOps teams often lose meetings when routing + follow-ups aren’t consistent across handoffs.

We run a lightweight RevOps audit that flags the top 2–3 leaks (usually lead → meeting time + no-response rate). In one Series B SaaS, we reduced lead-to-meeting time by 22%.

Want me to send the 5-question intake and you can tell me if it’s relevant?
- **CTA line**: Reply “audit” and I’ll send it.

Pro Tips

1Score your own emails before sending-if you can’t justify the relevance hook, it’s not ready.
2Don’t “fix” a cold email by adding more words; fix by removing fluff and adding one credible proof point.
3Avoid invented personalization; it backfires more than generic outreach.